Management bans an employee from being friends with her coworkers, then complains she isn’t friendly enough with the new hires: ‘I've been called yesterday with 2 managers and the CEO. Needless to say I fell off my chair’

Author image for Etai Eshet
Etai Eshet • Editor
Mar 2, 2025 9:00 AM EST

There's nothing quite like watching workplace management turn personal insecurities into professional mandates. Offices claim to foster collaboration, but every so often, someone in charge decides their own feelings of inferiority need to become a company-wide initiative. Basically a mashup between "teamwork makes the dream work" and "it's my party and I'll cry if want to."

At this one office, this phenomenon hit a whole new level of absurdity. Three coworkers committed the apparently unforgivable act of eating lunch together and enjoying each other's company. Instead of assuming these were just three people bonding over salads and small talk, the rest of the office decided these gatherings must be secret strategy meetings to trash-talk the entire staff.

Lacking both self-awareness and hobbies, they convinced management to intervene. Management, being an unmatched combination of petty and insecure, banned the trio from being friends during lunch breaks. No sitting together. No chatting too much. Just sit, eat, and pretend you don't know each other until your unpaid break is over. 

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  • "Management forbidding friendship then asks why I'm not friendly enough anymore"

    "I'm still unsure how to process all this"
    via Galina Zhigalova

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • TLDR at the end. My current (office) workplace is a small company of 20 people, with 50- 50 management and juniors. I started here a year ago and I became friends with 2 another
    via AyaTakaya007
  • became friends with 2 another juniors who worked there already for about 2 & 4 years. We were eating lunch outside as a trio when it was summer and even
    via AyaTakaya007
  • went on "healthy walks" as we called them. The rest of the time we ate inside in the office kitchen but sat next to each other at all time (it's a big long table for everyone)
    via AyaTakaya007
  • A random day we got called individually 1 after the other to meet our own manager (we were all 3 on separate teams) and the CEO. Without any context, they asked us to stop hanging out together during our lunch break and forbade any friendship
    via AyaTakaya007
  • occurring between us. That was 6 months ago, but I remember I was so shocked by what they told me that I had quite a negative reaction and demanded valid reasons to be policed on my FREE UNPAID time (no clear answer from them).
    via AyaTakaya007
  • Not long after (a couple days), a big verbal fight exploded during a Friday's happy hours when everyone was quite tipsy and the other juniors and 2 managers revealed that they thought we
    via AyaTakaya007
  • (the trio) were going out for lunch everyday without them so we could talk sht behind their backs. An assumption that came out from no where, as we used our lunch breaks to bond over
    via AyaTakaya007
  • our common interests, talk about boys (I know, cliché) and go quick shopping because we're near the commercial street of the center. It was also revealed during that day that they viewed us as "mean
    via AyaTakaya007
  • girls" for always going out without inviting anyone. I know this might sound bad, but I am under no circumstances obligated to spend my unpaid lunch breaks with colleagues I have no affinity with.
    via AyaTakaya007
  • Anyways, to cut short, they forbade any friendship and we had to stay strictly professional, which we did. Formal emails, formal greetings, eating lunch with everyone without sitting next to each others, etc. We still went out after work and did girls dates on weekends.
    via AyaTakaya007
  • Fast forward to now, they both left the company for different reasons and I've been "friendless" for about 3 months. There's been quite a turnover and new juniors have started during that time, with who I stay strictly
    via AyaTakaya007

  • Take your friendliness elsewhere

    0
    via Shannon Fagan

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • professional with. I'm very kind with everyone, but I will not share anything about my personal life and I won't stay past my hours to go to the bar with them like they usually do.
    via AyaTakaya007
  • Now here's where it bothers me. I've been called yesterday with 2 managers and the CEO present and they asked me why I'm not making friends anymore with my new colleagues. Needless to say |
    via AyaTakaya007
  • fell off my chair. I reminded how they literally forbade me from being friends with my 2 ex- colleagues not long ago while every other colleague could have
    via AyaTakaya007
  • a friendship with each other, but they completely brushed it off and asked me to hang out more with colleagues.
    via AyaTakaya007
  • The cherry on top was when one of the 2 manager (not my manager) told me he could see me still hanging with those 2 colleagues during the weekend via my IG. My IG is private and I don't remember accepting any follow request from him.
    via AyaTakaya007
  • Cheezburger Image 10473399808
    via Yan Krukau

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • I now blocked them all (or at least the ones I could find) from every single social media platform I have. But I'm still unsure how to process all this. I'm def looking
    via AyaTakaya007
  • for something elsewhere, but the job market is kinda sht rn so I know I'll be stuck for a couple months at least. This s ks so bad.
    via AyaTakaya007
  • To answer the obvious: No we never talked behind their backs during those lunch breaks and no we weren't not inviting anyone on purpose, if they asked we always said yes (it happened a couple times).
    via AyaTakaya007

  • Months pass, the trio disbands as two leave the company, and management suddenly starts scratching their heads. They call the last remaining member into a meeting, concerned about her lack of friendliness with the new hires. You’re seeing what I’m seeing right? Because I started feeling a little lightheaded from the amount of irony this story takes.

  • TL;DR: Management forbade my friendship with two colleagues while allowing friendhsips between other colleagues. After those 2 colleagues left the company, Management complained that I'm not friendly enough with the new colleagues.
    via AyaTakaya007
  • Impossible-Company78 You need to find a new place of employment.
    via Impossible-Company78
  • Obse55ive These managers are quacks. High school never ends does it? If I were in your position these interactions would definitely leave a sour taste in my mouth. I think you should try looking for
    via Obse55ive
  • another job that doesn't try to control what you do on your own time and isn't so dramatic. At the end of the day, everyone is there for the same reason-to get paid.
    via Obse55ive
  • idklikelizards Did you ever go to HR about the weird account stalking that manager was doing? I would bring it to HR now if its still possible. Also, you should quit and get a new job if you can.
    via idklikelizards
  • Silvangelz Ask your bosses if they want to put 'making friends in the office' as part of your job duties. If they don't, then they have no right to ask you to make friends at work.
    via Silvangelz
  • AdFresh8123 LOL, forbidding you to be friendly with your peers on your own time is illegal. So is forcing you to be anything other than professional.
    via AdFresh8123

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management boss workplace-stories hr toxic-workplace manager bosses work PTO managers supervisor workplace Horrible Bosses work-life balance
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